\\..mEmOrIeS' pLaYgRoUnD..//

Boring...

2007-08-23T02:53:00.000+08:00

yea...new post...haha...another 6 more hrs and my last exam paper is coming...cool huh? after so long i decide to...not to say so much...haha...life still the same...just that many things really do comes around and goes around...things u thought could work it out end up they dont...sad huh? but thats life...best thing is,u dont get to know why they dont work it out...and that really makes u feel somehow or in some way pissed? i dont know...but well i guess that kind of thing dont suits me...just have to look into others....during the months...get to go to alot of places...thanks to my soft toy...elmo...LOLX...brighten up quite a little when i'm with him...but bad point is...i think i learn alot of "bad" stuff from him...hmmm not very good huh...well there's up and there's down...but to me...every day is down to me...lol...no luck in everything i wanted to do...lady luck please bless me with your charm...i really and seriously needed that badly...
throughout this months...had this habbit of drinking....ribena in the night when i'm alone...maybe its mum that bought a carton of ribena that cost me to love ribena so much now...fyp gonna start soon...boring boring and boring...could i take a break? or maybe a long.....break...i wanted to go somewhere nice and peaceful...like meditation huh? but ya somewhere really nice for me to res...i must really plan for this...before i went army...destination: unknown? budget: $0 days spend: best if forever...
turn out to be quite a lengthy page...enjoy...o ya...i had a nice sliced fish bee hoon at maxwell market...its a must try food...gotta go rest...
YAWN

So Many things Happened....

2007-05-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

hmmm...been months since my last entry was posted up...Many things happen during these few months...and i feel like i had become a whole new person after everything...well...i hope i do...if anyone were to ask me about her again...i would happily ans him/her back...i think i can put down my feelings for her...so no worries...am a free man right now with no feeling attachment to anyone...(does not include my parents and friends) And so i guess i live a better life without these...And to her...i wish u all the best in your relationship...well...provided that she will read my entry thou...haha...i guess thats about it...stay tuned for nx entry

after so long...

2007-01-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

time flies...many things forgotten...but feelings remain...nv changed a bit...things changed...not the same as before,as i concluded...human is a ever changing animal...they change every sec...one moment u may see them treat you so nice...and the next they may jus curse and swear everything about you...whats left is just your dignity to be stepped...and they still act as if they nv cares...thinking everything is just about this way and thats it...and they end everything with either an apologize or they will jus walk away...thinking u will take that as a joke and continues this endless masked friendship/relationship...so whats forever means? forever in these kind of mess? been so long ever since my thoughts became letters being typed out by my fingers...so long ever since...content seem cold...but feelings don't...why u may ask...maybe i will find my ans elsewhere...

Rejection....

2006-10-26T02:02:00.000+08:00

i always believe this fairytale that says...when god created a male...they used 1 of the chest bone to created a female,so that the male won't feel lonely...this thought had been with me for quite a few years...since i heard it from my friend...and indeed,i believe it...because,when the 1 u love is not beside you,u somehow felt that pain in your chest...and when she's really gone,that pain grew imensely. i do felt that right now...what reason do 1 really need to like or love someone...i dun seem to get the idea of loving someone because of that something...doesn't you love someone as a whole, doesn't u love someone because he or she is that someone and not others? some ppl understands me,most don't...and i can only blame myself,for not letting her understand me more...on how i really felt towards her...i will not do something not because of someone,its because i wanted to...i just want ppl to understand,being a single and being attached is 2 DIFFERENT matters....i don't handle stuff when i am attached like i used to handle when i am single...maybe because of ppl doesn't really understands me,maybe i shld made known to everyone that,even though i play,even though i am not those kind of "good guy",i still can be a good bf...i am comfortable when i am with you,just that i don't know how to express myself clearly to you that i am comfortable...and at the same time i am overly shy and had super low self esteem...but i jus feel nice when i'm with you...maybe u can't felt that...i don't know...all i know is...my feeling is undoubtedly true for u...but...i guess,if i stand at your point of view...i'm really not a good choice to consider...what i surface is not what i really is...i just need more time to get over it...

i gave up...

2006-10-01T18:29:00.000+08:00

sigh...i gave up...she's attached...this time round...i guess its real...to think that what i have done all along makes no difference in her...and i guess such a me does not exist in her heart before...and all the effort i put had all gone down to drain...i guess i wasn't that suitable piece of jigsaw puzzel to her...now i just need another few months to forget her...maybe it will took me a yr or more...i don't know...all i know is i felt immense pain in my heart right now...like something had lost...the whole situation now seem to be like a story of a guy wanted to buy a beautiful musical box...but he can't afford the price...and so he work so hard for it...but...one day he came to realise that...someone had bought that musical box...with or without any effort putting in i don't know...all i know now is...what for did i need to put in so much effort when the outcome is not what i wanted? what i holded for so long end up i gotta gave up...what i yearn for end up becomes the precious of someone else...blame who u all might ask...i can only say...blame me...blame me for not being that special 1 for her,blame me for every stupid thing i done for her,blame me for holding on even a slightest chance that she will accept me...i can only blame myself for loving her...and i guess its my stupidity and my ignorant that causes the situation i am in right now...just wish u the best in coming A levels...and with your bf too...

Chalet night...

2006-09-21T18:01:00.000+08:00

Had a Wonderful time with my class...reach there at around 8...and they decide to go for night biking...rent a bike,went back to the chalet to put my things...and off we go for our night biking...man i can tell u...6 hour of riding is NO JOKE...we had a stop over at changi village for our supper...then 3 of my friends ride back..the rest continue our journey...went to changi airport...wanted to ride in East Coast...but end up going back...the stretch of road at Changi Airport sure is LONG...it seem endless no matter how long we travel...but finally...we did get out of there...then we went to bedok had a stop over at the SPC petrol station...ate 4 sandwich...man i was damn hungry...top up our drinks...and continue our journey back to our chalet...then we pass by simei,then tpjc and WOOO...we had reached our chalet...but that was like around 5 in the morning...went back and my butt was ACHING...the sit was damn lousy...here are a few pictures we took during our night cycling...

these are the few photos that we taken during our night cycling...after wash up...we slack around in the living room...did drink abit...then went to slp at ard 8 in the morning...woke up at 10 plus...din have much rest either...my butt still sore after the 2 hr rest...decided to return back the bicycle and went to eat after that...din have much energy so we din play pool for long also...went back for some mahjong session...and soon it was around 6+ in the evening...friends were setting up the pit...din help much...stuck in the mahjong game...LOLX...went down to eat...haha...ate quite abit...

soon it was around 10+ 11...and its time for me to say goodbye...went back with jia hui,pei shan and jia hui's friend...reach home around 11+...and went to bed after that...did have so much fun with my classmate...well good times always din last long...and all the best to my friends...=D

moody clubbing night at phuture...

2006-09-14T06:34:00.000+08:00

after so long...finally had a new post...a bad 1 i should say...went out with jeff,ricky and sharon to phuture yest night...was quite entu in the first place...but somehow my mood swing just trigger off...first i saw cindy...everything was still fine...and alright...mood swing wasn't that much...then i saw spencer...and the first thing came to my mind...elena...nothing but her...crap right...wait till u all know more crappy stuff...well i did saw her...but...jus felt upset...mood swing shot up to the climax...dance around...like a body without soul...generated by the music...i jus dance...and i don't know why am i like that...ltr on i met sharon and her friend...thought things could change....but her friend left...and well...din have the mood to dance...though they have good music on...and on top of that...i felt thirsty...so i get myself a drink...this time round...i din saw elena...or i missed her...then i hanged around...until finally its 4am...time pass...went for supper...with sharon and the rest...went home after that...think alot while i am on my home back...i think...y shld i be so upset when elena and me wasn't like before...? y shld i be upset when sharon's friend went home?? sickening...shouldn't i be real upset when "she" wasn't beside me?? i really can't understand myself...anyone do?? got home and got scolded by my mum for being so late home...and i ask myself y i wanted to stay out so late?? crap...i ask myself alot of qns...i even qn abt me being on earth...y one shld be borned when one shld finally dies? to find happiness?? happiness: someone used their liftime to search that and end up din find any...someone found it,but slip it away from their hand... its all so crappy...i really don't understand myself...i don't know why i am feeling upset for someone i know for like not even a month...i don't know y i am feeling upset for someone who i know for few hours...i dont know why shld i club in the first place also...shouldn't i be waiting for her? and plan wad to do when she finished a 'A's??
seriously...if anyone were to be in my shoes...wad shld i do?

a million air first love

2006-07-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

知道我为什么喜欢你想念你吗?因为那也是病...
下雨了,但雨不能冷静我对你的爱...

above phrase are meant for me to keep note of...sorry if it wasn't readable...=X

happy happy happy

2006-07-17T00:14:00.000+08:00

hmmm...i had great fun on sat night...because i guess i was with her most of the time...met her up at 4.20...got there a lil bit early...haha...that was the first time i was out with her...counted as a date i tink...went shopping...watch movie...stone....stone and more stoning...haha...watch re-cycle...wasn't a nice show...morale of the show,DUN ABORT BABIES...=X had some crappy jokes along the way...like lady in the lift...haha...and some more...good times always end fast...we walk,shop,stone and watch movie...and blink...night time...brought her home... just felt so comfortable when i am with her...i guess i am some how 1 tiny step closer to her...i hope so...her exam are round the corner...had total confident in her...in her stoning...haha...in her studies i need not worry too much...i know she she will do well...as for other things...maybe i still need more time to get into her life...as i know...as days went by...my addiction for her grows...addiction...a bad adj? or a good 1?
anyway...watch superman just now with my dad...saw tammy and her bf...haha...anyway the show was quite nice...nice love story nice scene...show was 2 and 1/2 hr...not bad...give it a 8 stars upon 10. only some spastic scene could be seen inside also...haha...the same old way of how clark taking off his shirt and turn into superman...but i realise something in this show...the triangle love story between louis new bf,louis and clark...i pity her new bf...having his beloved to share with another guy...how would u think when u hug your love 1 but her heart was thinking about another guy...and how long does louis gonna lie to her new bf? 5 yrs? 10yrs? 20? or more? had a similar circumstances...jus that i know the truth and her new bf didn't...director seriously need to explain how did the r/s of louis and her new bf started...

sudden happiness...

2006-07-15T02:37:00.000+08:00

woo hooo...in about 14 hrs time i gonna meet her...haha...sudden date...i am so so so happy...haha...excited too...been 1 month nv see her...and hardly got the chance to go out with her too...though the duration wasn't long...but its enough...hope everything would be fine tmr and i sincerly wish our relationship would be 1 step closer...actually...jus a small tiny step and i will be content...haha...all the best to myself...

my bday...

2006-07-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

hmmm...2 days after my bday...din do much things also...had my 2 hr lesson on fri...went to have my lunch with classmate...went home have some rest and go out with friends to MOS...saw ricky over there...haha...been quite some time din catch up with him...party till 4am in the morning until i went home..as usual...too much crowd for me to take it...its too squeezy inside...took 20 mins more to walk in and out of MOS...and maybe 15 mins more to get to 1 place to another within MOS...din have much fun either also...hated crowd...but did know new friends...and i saw miss phua at MOS...gosh...shock...haha...after all teachers are also human...need to relax...haha...had a couple of drinks also...end my day with me taking cab home...sat night was once again chilling day for me...went to devils...saw a couple of ex sch mates...haha...but they din recongize me...hmmm...crowd was good...but..dun like it...haha...make new friend;summer...haha...pretty elegant girl...a funny 1 also...din have much conversation with her...reach home ard 6 in the morning...well...there goes my 2 days...though din really enjoyed...maybe because of my addiction...and my want...had been thinking of her through out fri and sat night...sometime i think that wishes aren't meant to come true...i hope i may be wrong...because i made a wish abt u...anyway thanks for the greetings and everything...=D

Omen night....

2006-06-15T00:29:00.000+08:00

hmmm....holiday had arrived and so is my insomniac nights...had been sleeping very late recently...as usual...staring my com until ard 5 or even 6 in the morning...can't get to sleep...went out with my usual bunch of buddies today....or is it yest? hmmm...anyway...went K-singning with them...haha...ate alot also...guess i will be putting some weights if i am not going to exercise...watched Omen that day...wanted to watch sliter also but we end up with a conclusion of watching Omen only...had been very interested in these kind of stuffs ever since i know things...simply attracted to those strange phenomenon...not that i am those weird and eccentric freako that likes "them"...take it that i am still a child with a curious heart wanting to know everything...even b4 i came to know abt this show,i always had this qn...but not yet answered:"what is the difference between good and evil?" this thing had been puzzling me for quite some times...there's a time whereby the movie :"the story of emily rose" or is it other name i don't quite remember that i watched...very nice i should say...ever since that time i got the urge to know more about these satanic demon stuff...until recently this show omen...makes me even want to know more...read up a few articles about these demonic stuffs and know abit about their origins...had this 1 qn after watching the show...:"who does we defy to be deemed as evil and what does we do to be praised as good?" well...i couldn't even answer my first qn,don't even say abt answering the 2nd 1 as they are some how in-directly linked up...read up a few more articles just now and more qns pop up..."does 1 deemed as evil when the 1 had become an evil itself in the eyes of others??" up till today...many of us still can't really see the truth behind all truth...maybe evil just isn't the way u all think? maybe...just maybe...sometime something just prefered to be left undone...or otherwise??

PS: above post was not meant to doubt any teaching of any religion...its purely just my thoughts...

her birthday eve night...

2006-06-09T03:48:00.000+08:00

whao...finish my last paper...but i guess i din do well...think gonna fail this paper...damn sucky...din know how to do many of the qns...jus plainly stuck at most of the qn...just hope i can get a just pass for this paper...other paper still ok...was pretty much scare of my tp...Del was so so...math and ACDA was pretty good i guess...hmmm...din have much time to shop around for her present...make her chocolate fudge dipped strawberry...hmm...ate a few after doing it...quite nice...haha...its been v v v long ever since i cook things by myself...like maybe yrs?? haha....got quite a time washing the bowl...finished up everything and prepare myself to go to her blk...din bought a slice of a cake...wanted to do that but i scare she may be late going home because of visiting her relative's hse...but end up she reach home earlier than i expected...got abit rush...thought maybe the meeting is canceled but it turns out otherwise...get dressed up,prepared my card and off i go to her house...had a nice and warming chat with her...really feel so nice when i with her....chatted up with her for around 1/2 an hour....went back to cousin's house and went home with parents...had a wonderful wonderful day...and last but not least...WISH YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL BDAY...AND MAY EVERYDAY BE AS WONDERFUL AS TODAY...PS: and dun eat too much apple and strawberry in the night...its poisonous...haha...

RIP Mr Wong...

2006-05-24T11:56:00.000+08:00

"LIE DOWN THERE~!!!!","SQUAT DOWN THERE~!!!!"
guess this few phrase did remind some of the Jss student...yah...we may scare of him...we may hate him...but after all...he meant well for us...in his own way,he teach us the method to understand math...he teach us how to in fact draw a coconut tree with just a line...and he teach us that no matter how low we do get for our math...as long as we got improved,he will still praise us...i learn alot from him...from him...i know how fearful math can be,i know how lame math can be and i know how math can be so fun with coconut tree and elevation concept...and i definitely know how to love and fear math...though sometimes we may misunderstood him...because of his way of teaching we may fear him...beacuse of his loud voice,we may not actually know that he do meant us well...but now...this legend...this voice will remain in our hearts...never to be heard or seen again...on monday night...receive this news from my good friend...shock was the first reaction...speechless...and i went to his wake the following day...called up mdm oh for the address of the place...went there...steps was heavy...can't believe a strong person like him could jus pass away....saw his photo from afar...until then that i could confirm his leaving...walk up straight to meet up with mdm oh...had a bow infront of Mr Wong...lots of flashback of him teaching our class...lots of memories...talk with mdm oh for awhile...ask about what actually happen...but none of them know...only clue i got is...he died peacefully...sit down for awhile b4 i went back home...think i was the only Jss student at that moment...did saw other few when i was on my way back...till now...i still have so many queries...what may cause his death...a natural 1? illness? i don't know...but...only thing i could keep with me about him is the year he spend teaching in Jss...the effort he put in...the sweat and of course the voice...as 1 of a ex-student of u,Mr Wong...i thank you,for your teaching...i thank you for imparting a part your of the knowledge to me and i thank you,for letting me know there's such a person and such a teacher...and lastly,i thank you...for been a part of my life and memories...and i will keep this part of it,and will always be reviewed again and again...and may all things be smooth over at your side...

amendment of post...

2006-05-21T05:34:00.000+08:00

peeps...some amendment of post on Sunday, May 07, 2006...some date were wrong due to some miscalculation...it was actually 2 months and 22 days since i wrote that post...not 3 months and 23 days...

night chatting with u~~

2006-05-21T04:25:00.000+08:00

4+ in the morining...been having insomniac nights...and same goes for tonight...went out watching movie and chilling with 2 good friends of mine...done nth much...except eating...eats alot...from yong tau fu to laksa to ice cream to spaghetti...all in 9 hours...haha...great stomach i had...and as usual...went back after movie...watched over the hedge...nice show...cute that is...character looks funny...in a way that animal do talk in english...was wondering how was it like to understand animal language...hahaha...lame dream of mine...slack infront of com...and talk over the phone with her...i believe u will be a good teacher...not a good navigator,PS: dun plan routes...because u will get them lost also...haha...anyway...did had some nice chatting with her...a fun 1...seldom had this chance to come by...talk about many things...actually freezing your body could be quite cool when u died...maybe a freezing mummy that buried in north pole would be nice...what do u all say?? or maybe enclosing yourself in a bottle of liquid...and maybe being a specimen of a not-nice evil girl? haha...anyway...it will be a long endless night...or moring i shld say...still long when dawn breaks...guess i will just be slacking around until my eyes close...take care huh...and pls give your brain some rest...it is begging u to let her rest...turn that auto thinking on to auto off thinking...LOLX...

tiring day...

2006-05-16T01:07:00.000+08:00

i really do miss her...

Poseidon night...

2006-05-13T16:20:00.000+08:00

hmm...watch poseidon last night...great show...give it a 8/10...down side was...went into climax to fast...din have much intro about the ship...and the char inside...compare to titanic...hmmm...i think titanic is better...in the way that the whole thing was smooth going...no rushing...only part is titanic did not have more action compare to poseidon...well...did watch a nice show...AND DID BOUGHT A NICE WATCH...haha...finally...i bought the watch le...adidas white colour watch...nice nice...haha...did give us lots of trouble looking for it...nx oncoming show i wanna watch is over the hedge...i wanna watch wild...but the show is finish...sad case...hmmm...think i will stop here...continue writing nx time...=D

hectic life...

2006-05-10T00:55:00.000+08:00

ever since school starts...i had been very tired...school hours are so packed on monday tuesday and thursday...had around 7 to 8 hours lesson a day...not much time left to rest...no study break this sem...so i guess had to listen in class...on top of that...having quite a few test coming...only time is to study on wed and fri...i am living in a hectic life man...gosh...just dun like it...and been pissed off with my serv with its ever changing url of songs...my dark ring getting darker...just can't get used to sleeping so early...(usually sleep around 4 to 5 am last time),now had to change to sleeping latest at 1...and even sleeping at 1...i still get so tired...hmmm...school starts isn't a good thing? to me maybe...a chao slacker that is...and to her...hmmm...lately many ppl been getting sick...she,of course,as always...always had proj and sch work...guess she also can't help it but only to complete those...same with me...din get enuff slp,wads different is,hers is JCs...workload is even higer than mine...if i feel tired...guess she felt twice or even thrice tiring...don't really know how to help her...academically,can't really help her because we were on different level...mentally,hmmm...wanted to bring her out to relax...but seems like she is having difficulty in finding a free time to even catch a breath...i hope...everything would be fine for her...at least...after her 'A's...she could have some time to rest her body...i think...i pray nth gone wrong b4 her 'A's...because she had put in quite some effort in it...

nth much...

2006-05-09T01:47:00.000+08:00

nth much happened today...jus that the same old routine that is happening...i am missing her...really do miss her...

2006-05-07T05:22:00.000+08:00

its been 2 months and around 22 days ever since i declared that feeling to you...and its been more than 2 months and 22 days i lived with that feeling...its 5.23 in the morning...i am still awake...am i waiting for sun rise? like i am waiting for her...everyday is the same for me...going through the usual things i do...recalling the incident happened in feb 13...or maybe not that day...maybe its the day when we first met...and everything we ever done b4...funny as i think...but i did not stop this so called hobby of mine...and i kept doing the same things over again...its usual today...i think of her...i think of...the things you say...and...many other things u do...is all these worth while? i wanted to take some actions...but...exams are near...sigh...pain as i feel...but i can only bear with it...as i take all my hopes and wishes with me to bed...

waiting...~~

2006-04-23T04:44:00.000+08:00

hmmm...lately there seem to be many things happening around me...my friend willy...sorry for not seeing u 1 last time...and i wish u would be happy in the other world...though we don't know each other for long...but once a friend...always do...a nice guy i would say...and i bid u another 1 last goodbye...and wish everything would be the best for u at the other side...and yah...been down because of this matter la...can't really bring up my mood to the climax...and on top of that,my school starting soon...double KO for me...hmmm...guess happy moment can't really stay for long...no matter how hard u ever try to grab hold...it tend to slip it away...from your very hand...and not everything u put in 100% u would get back that amount of payback...same goes to every relationship...i see alot of my friends getting ditched...din have anything to say...just let go and continue...haha...well...seem easy for me to say it...its always easy to say than done...i can't just chuck my feeling on one side...dun really know what to do...guess school is the only thing that keeps me away from thinking too much...although i still thinks as much even school reopens...haha...hmmm...to my friends:"treasure the 1 u loved b4 they are gone"...and to willy:"all the best to u over there"...

after chalet...

2006-04-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

wooo...jus ended my 4 days 3 night chalet at tanah merah...well...was having fun...like playing mahjong...ALL 4 DAYS WE WERE DOING THAT...swimming was fun 2...very fun...bbq and steamboat was like having a reunion dinner...the things we ate were so...good...haha...so much different from the past chalet i had...its more to like living in a bungalow...hmmm...but the down side was...i think we made those "dirty" thing...hmmm...but we didn't suffer any casualties so its ok la actually...lost a big lump sum of $$$ due to mahjong...i am damn broke now...i seriously need to save up more.......and i had been thinking of her during these time at the chalet..look up in the sky during the night and i saw a beautiful round moon...and i thought of her...and the day we last met...but the moon wasn't that beautiful compared to last time. i guess its not the moon,its the person that make the moon to look beautiful...hmmm...

forced to blog~~~

2006-04-05T21:57:00.000+08:00

errr...i am trying to blog here...tis been days since i last blog...and 3 weeks from now it will be a brand new begining for my school days...cheers because i am not gonna rot at home again...cheers as i think that during my school life,i would have lesser time of thinking of you...and cheers...because i guess i am closer to eating my sandwich in school...wooo....

days i spend after visiting chalet

2006-03-29T03:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm...recently i have been going out...haha...went to friend's house and stay over...quite fun,mahjong whole night...haha...well that was the only entertainment we had...went out to eat...haha,very chilling...it was the lifestyle i always wanted...but,without her i guess it was just fun with your few good friends...over these days,i really miss her...alot that is...and now,i hardly even get to slp b4 5am,and many times its because i am thinking of her...haha...haiz...hard to get her out of my mind man...

hmmm...she's falling sick...

2006-03-24T02:31:00.000+08:00

haiz...it seem that she's falling sick recently,and i guess she does have some kind of exam stress...JCs...haiz...today is her last paper...luckily she is going for a bbq to relax her mind...haha...and she is trying to search for x-japan cds...and 1 cds is ard 70+ bucks per piece in singapore...hmmm...what am i really talking about?? i guess i don't really know it either...i just carry on with my life...without her i guess...haha...din really have that much hope that she will reciprocate my feelings for her...i don't why i kept thinking bad about myself...since past,i always thinks that i am not good enuff and i always have the thought that the girl i like did not feel the same way to me.i guess to be able to forget her really needs some time...

HOLIDAY~~

2006-03-08T03:10:00.000+08:00

i am having my holiday now...quite slack...been doing nothing but gaming the whole day...except when i am out with my friends,other than that,i am stuck inside my room playing games and sleeping...its been quite some times ever since i finish my exams...and my result will be out on 24th of march...until then,i guess i will be slacking in my hse...and outside chilling with friends...i guess i should find a job quick,really need to pass my time quick...and still,i must wait for the upcoming event in dec...and that is 'A's...haha...u all should be puzzeled abt why should i be caring about 'A's when i am in poly...haha...because of the phrase "i don't think i will consider any guy until my 'A's",i shall be waiting for that event to finish...and i will once again,get my feet up and continue of what i haven't finished...and everyone,wish me all the best...

HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ...V DAY EVE...

2006-02-14T00:47:00.000+08:00

wooo...I FINALLY TELL HER I LIKE HER...WAHAHAHA...wooo hooo...COOL HUH...i should have been feeling sad,i should be sulking now,i should have been feeling heart broken...yeah...indeed...i am...but i feel more lighter than before...my heart dont carry that burden anymore...yah,its true that u told me that u won't consider any guy before your A's,and yet i still tell u these...hah...well,at least i know wad ur reply is...guess feeling down was natural after rejection? really wanted to know where i stand in your heart,and will i have a chance to stay in your heart? haiz...sch gonna end soon,study break was around the corner...and exams...i seriously need a break...

A smile is what i want to see from your face,
Care and concern from you is what i dream to receive,
Love and a place in your heart is what i always wished,
And lastly,
You,
Are someone i really like...
Do you feel the same?
I bet no...

2006-02-03T00:46:00.000+08:00

sa i go no, ki su wa
ta ba, ko no fla i vor, a na si ta
ni a, ku te se tsu na i ka, o li
a si ka no, i ma go ro ni wa
a na ta wa do ko ni, i du n da rou
da de vo, o mo, te du mu, na ha
you will always gonna be my love
it su ka, da le ka to ma ta ko we ni o, chi te mo
I will remember to love
you taught me how
you will always gonna be the one
i ma ha wa, a, da ka na si i oh... love song one bu
a ta la si i you, ta, wu te e, ru ma de
ta chi do maru, ji ka na ga
wu go ki da so u do, si te ru
wa su le da ku na i, ko to wa ka li
a si ta no, i ma go ro ni wa
wa ta si wa ki, to, na i te ru
wa na ta o, o mo te ru n, da ha
you will always be inside my heart
i tsu mo, a na ta da ke no, ba shoe ga a, ru ka la
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
i ma ha wa, ma ta ka na si ru...some one bu
a ta ta si i you, ta, u ta e ru ma de
you will always gonna be my love
i tsu ka, da le ka to ma ta ko wi ni o, chi te mo
I wll remember to love
you taught me how
you will always gonna be the one
ma, da, ka na si i... oh...love song bu
now and forever

--------------first love
PS: Song so nice that it sang out my feelings towards you

Haiz...

2006-01-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

if you ask me tomorrow,i will tell u about future...
if you ask me why? i will tell u no reasons but feelings...
if u tell me its not worth it, i will tell u i dun intend to turn back...
if u tell me u only treats me as a friend, then i will tell u i only sees u in my heart
and if u tell me its impossible for us,then i will tell u i will wait,for as long as u change your heart...

valentine's day coming...

2006-01-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

hmm...valentine's day coming...its been nearly a year since i last celebrated valentine's day...hah...haiz...time pass real fast...din have the time to really sit down and reflect what i had been doing in the year of 2005...hmmm...ok...u all may ask how do i love someone...i may reply,err,maybe to love someone,u need to give her everything? u need to make her happy? hah...yah...maybe u get me to say this...but...one qn...if you can make her happy,how can u in turn make yourself feel the same way as she did.many people say that:'when the 1 u love is happy,u will feel happy',yah true,when she is with you and feel happy,u will feel happy,but...when she is not,u don't...stop telling yourself that u are happy she is happy. its BULLSHIT...i like her,i can't deny that i don't...i need her,i can't get myself to say that i don't...valentine's day coming...what shall i do? she seem to be avoiding me? or is she busy? i have no idea...perhaps she found someone to celebrate valentine's day...i don't know...i know nothing...i wish alot of times...but none of the wish came true...i took every moment and every chances that i can wish...to wish that she could be mine 1 day...hah...such a wishful thinking...thats what i sometimes think...but i never gave up wishing...i wanted a chance from her,i wanted her to give me a chance...to prove that i am able to take care of her...to be able to love her...but...haiz...nothing was given from her...guess that only friendship could explained everything between us...2006...is it a good year? or a bad 1? i don't know

a new year,but a bad star...

2006-01-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

a new year...but not a very good start for me....as chinese always say,jiu de bu qu,xin de bu lai...(old one don't go,new one won't come)...but i guess i just can't seem to forget abt her huh...and i guess she is back from taiwan...well,school starts for all secondary school,same goes to jc...hmmm...hah...she's hasn't been online quite a few weeks...and erm...hah...suddenly remember what she said when we last met...they were doing the taekawando webby...and indeed i did know abit abt these stuffs,and so i offer help to input the sound...and all this started with me saying:"i think i need to look through my blog's template...almost forget how to input the loop and the length and width thing." and there she give me a surprised look saying:"oh,u got a blog huh,y didn't i know?" haha...well nth big to comment on it,but,maybe thats the time she know i did write something abt her in my blog,maybe not,or maybe just maybe,she did took a peek at my blog...haha...i guess i was crazy,yes i am...i am indeed crazy...to even think of having u by my side...i was crazy,to even think i could give u happiness...haha...and i was mad,as i thought i could replace him in your heart...i guess i could not,i guess i am not the mr right u are looking for after all...haha...u all may think i had already break out the news to her that i like her...but...haha...sad to say...nope...i had not done yet...and its because i don't have a chance to do so...she din give me a chance to do so,and i guess even if i got the chance,i couldn't really grab it well...one main bad pt i had,i dun really how to express the 3 words i love u...haha...some people can say out a whole story with the topic of i love you,but i can't...some people can make things beautifully to express their feeling,but mine is like DUHZ...haha...though i prefer to make things,but,haha...jus can't seem to make a good 1 though...haiz...and whats more...i don't really have a good quality to begin with,so what makes you all think so she will accept me,a guy,with no $,no quality,no cert...just a normal guy with no exceptionally good skill..nowadays there are so many of these guys...they are everywhere on the streets...and i once i remembered what she say when we went to eat roti prata. started it by asking her:"den wad type of guy do u prefer?" haha...and she reply:"i like a guy who can make me impressed...a creative guy..." haha...base on the first quality...i don't think i can make it...so...sigh...haha...a long post for this entry...haven't finish my test..oncoming test on thurs...haha...i had been quite naggy abt this...so i think i will end it with a HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone...have fun in year 2006...stay funky...

she's not in sg...

2005-12-20T01:34:00.000+08:00

haiz....she is either in plane now or she is in taiwan already,she told me her plane will be leaving at 8.10 sharp...but the sms dead off...she nv tells me its evening or morning...hah...urgh...its all crap...i din tell her i like her,i din get to see her,on top of that,I DIN EVEN WISH HER HAPPY XMAS WHEN SHE LEFT...shit me i can say...haiz...i guess i have to give her the things when she came bak,and tell her after she reach sg...so...hah...

haiz...she went to taiwan,i stay in sg

2005-12-19T01:45:00.000+08:00

late in the night...in less than 24 hrs she is gng to taiwan...its not like she is leaving for good,but its...i think its me...maybe i got this mindset of telling her b4 she went to taiwan...haha...i can't finish the thing i gonna give it to her...so maybe i will wait for her to come bak to sg then i give her...i think i gonna do tat...until now i really can't think of any good idea...maybe...

sianz........

2005-12-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

1.05 in the morning...tired,but can't sleep...thinking abt her...urgh...i don't have the time to finish my work but yet i am idling inside this blog writing all my feelings in it...i am a pathetic guy...i nv once get it on right track,not anything i had done alone b4...i am so useless without the help of ppl...because of my inability,i tend to hide myself in a shell...but at the same time, i wanted to let go of myself and tell her that i really like her...but to be able to tell her,i need her to give me a chance to speak my mind,but the chance was nv given to me...not once,not twice...not even a single time...ppl say u need to find ur chance and grab it...i find it so true,but u need others to give that chance in order for u to find it and grab hold of it...no point finding it when no chance is given...find it so hard to even trying to date her out...even though my shedule is pack...i wish that b4 she went to taiwan,i would get the chance to meet her or something...but...up till now...i dun think its possible...

hmmm...j sick le...

2005-12-02T00:49:00.000+08:00

hmmm...well...i was just joking abt that someone who say me childish la...not very much trying to insult u or wad so dun take it too hard...hmmm...
she's sicked and she wanted to go to work...did advice her not to go...but...hah...my words just din had any effect...if those were to come from her ex...maybe it will have some effect...haha...i am thinking too much...well..i did think alot...i think....i shld get some rest now...get rdy for tmr common test for my EEPS...=D

hmmm...words to abigale

2005-11-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

LOL...ok...hmmm...din have much to say...so i will make it short and sweet...to in case being say as childish...=X
done nth today except doing my sch stuff...boring

haiz....i really miss j when i am talking to her in msn

2005-11-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

its 1+ in the morning...and i am still awake...just reach home from town with my buddies...quite fun...went to jia hui house for the house warming b4 going out with my buddies...was great...best of all,i met her...on thurs...hah...its was 1 of my happiest time i could say...i dunno y but...i just felt so happy...that feeling was great...met her friend...nice people i would say...friendly...though din really do anything but...hah...i juz felt so wonderful that day...my mood was like i juz pop an esctasy...i am so high...LOL...well u all could say i am mad, maybe i really do...but...its so different between today and thurs...i had some weird feeling. chatted with her on msn, was always wanted to chatted wif her on phone,but i think someone else get it b4 me...haha...din feel that happy upon knowing that...nah...i think its the jealousy part...what right do i have to be jealous abt this matter,she wasn't mine,she was purely a friend only...i dun have a damn right to be jealous...urgh...my mood isn't that great now...haha...i was feeling....kinda down...haha...abt this,i may be childish...but...nah...not worth to mention it...i juz have a strong feeling towards something...maybe its her, maybe its jealousy, maybe its the part where i miss her, maybe...juz maybe...but everything juz lead to her...i was to blame for all this...who ask me to fall for her? LOL...no one else did except my heart...haiz...i always hope that the girl i really really really likes would also likes me...wouldn't it be great to have this?? its hard...realy hard...even now i am so disgusted in seeing couples having their sweet moment together infornt of me...makes me felt so disgusted in their action...perhaps i am juz jealous of them, perhaps i am crazy...but 1 thing i am assure of is that i really do like her...haha...mad am i to say this in a blog and not to her...i wanted to...but she din give me a chance to...i din have any chance to tell her how i feel...maybe i got...in msn chat that is...but...its not that sincere isn't it?? to tell someone u really like in msn? haha...weird thinking i am having now...loving can be so hard and torturing...especially u know the 1 u love is the 1 u know u nv get to be together...heart breaking huh? its shattering...haiz...i juz felt so stupid...finding trouble for myself...stupid i am...

o.O...wooo project finish

2005-11-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

hmmm...just finish most of my project...feels great...its monday again. how many monday i have i tend to think, nah...its stupid to even had that idea. tues is a day i hated it. 8 to 5...omg can u imagine the hrs i am gng through in class...bo....ring...din have much time to blog so ahem i am here again to blog...wahaha...this sem is kinda busy, projects projects and more projects, din have much time to rest, finally today i get to rest abit...haha...well...write till here...

jap letters to j

2005-11-17T00:26:00.000+08:00

kimi ga warau sekai ni suki de,
kimi ga warau hohoemi no soba ni,
soba ni itai sore dake wasurekaketa itami mou mune ni...
kimi ga namida no toki ni wa,boku ga soba ni iru kara,
hanareba nare no yoru datte boku ga soba ni iru kara,
soba ni iru yo zutto...

aishitehru
hime J

stomach hurts...

2005-11-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

argh...around 12+ already...and my stomach hurts...just keep getting to toilet...don't know if its the fried prawn noodle i ate this afternoon...maybe i put too much chilly sauce...haha...and i am darn tired..din get much rest and projects are rushing like train...after nx week i think i could at least catch a breath...still got a report to write...don't know what to write though...haha...wasn't that sure my citation was right or wrong...and it worth 30% out of 100...and the teacher scare us by saying that if u fail this report u most likely fail the whole module and i was like O.O...hmmm...i wanted to arrange a time to meet j but i just can't get a time slot free...maybe after next week,i will rush all my things and i am free,at least that day i think i gonna tell her everything...LOL

things link to j

2005-11-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

hmmm...over the past few days i hinted her the 2nd time...LOL...like erm,what is the colour of rose that girl like,tk that girl to be u...i ask her this...and well,she did give me an ans...like she loves reddish pink...haha...and i think i gonna get her a bouquet of that type of roses...but she is leaving to taiwan around dec 19 and i guess that i won't have a chance to celebrate xmas with her so maybe i could give her the flower b4 that...hmmm...times i find that i wanted to give up but i couldn't...i just can't seem take this lying and heck care...so maybe that day when i gave her the roses i will tell her i like her?? LOL...haiz...actually i already know the outcome,but i just wanna say what i really feels about her...maybe after i tell her and get her ans i feel much better...at least i did get an ans from her mouth telling me that she feel for me as a friend only...maaybe i would felt better than just assuming that she treats me as a friend...well both are the same if u look at an angle...because both shows that she only treated me as a friend...maybe giving her a present b4 she went to taiwan was my real intention...maybe not...well,i can say that expressing my likes to her and giving her to roses are my objective when i meet her...so...yah...reddish pink roses...hmmm,am i getting 1?? or am i not??

haiz...i gave up...

2005-11-11T00:31:00.000+08:00

i gave up...i shld had done that long time ago...take neither of them...and continue my life of lonliness...sch is busy this few days...reach home and take a quick nap...and here i am again to blog...nth much abt today...jus that i think i shld really give up on her...

wad a day after my eng o lv....

2005-11-10T01:35:00.000+08:00

i had just finish my english o lv...haha...i get that re exam...and i felt my heart so light after i finish the whole paper...finally it had finish...went back to sch for lessons...feel so tired and sian..reach home around 4+...went straight to take a nap and woke up around 8.45...shock huh...i slp quite a long period of time...do some homework and went straight to play games...HAH..thats life man...LOL...browse through my friendster...saw quite a few of my friend..kinda miss them...kinda miss her...kinda miss J...last night its was her who cause me to turn left and right in my bed...i told her that i like a gal...haha...been trying to hint her that i like her...guess that she don't know...kinda few down...my studies was not bad...but my love life sucks...guess u need to balance thing abit...u can't handle both thing well huh...but i rather my love life and studies to be ok...just ok would be fine for me...i really do like her alot...but she din know that...hmmm...urgh...it dun feel good to be in this way...it really don't...in fact it sucks...y do i fall in love so easily...cursed it man...

y heaven so unfair..........

2005-11-02T23:55:00.000+08:00

aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr.....i feel like shouting right now...y heaven so unfair...those guy that had a gf so pretty,and yet i had NONE...URGH...it sucks man...totally...went for break around 11.30,saw quite a few couples...and among few of them i did notice abt something...nah...its better not tok abt this,cuz i think i will be slander wif remarks saying that i am a boastful and thick skin guy...and i tot of her again...drawing circles of fantasy in my head,i dream of me and her together...hand in hand walking along the street just like normal couples...with sweet tight hugs to nice passionate kiss...all and all are popping around the circle of my fantasy...haiz...i am just a normal plain guy who yearn the love of the gal he love...i really wanted to know more abt u...your past,ur dreams,your everything...but i just can't seem to get it going...i can't seem to communicate with u...everytime i started a conversation with u it always end wif a silent..or it end wif u busying wif stuff...can't seem to chat wif u...if thats wad,how am i going to tell u iLu,iNu,iWu...

first day in sch...

2005-11-01T02:11:00.000+08:00

hmmm...today its 31st oct...and its my first day for my 2nd sem...din sleep well,not because i am excited..its because that i can't sleep...omg i am so used to night life...i slept ard 4+ yest night...woke up ard 6.30...went sch feeling quite moody,cause its raining...and i am bring my new bag out...juz pissed off wif the rain and all that...maybe its because of the school life that makes me feeling down...not very sure about it...anyway went to class and i was like OMG...ALL GUYS?? 3 gals? i think soon i will become gays...my communication class or something like that ar...oni 3 gals...the rest not very sure...cause some were late...was with 2 of my friend from the same course class...but end up...i am still sian...lecturer give us our first assignment...REPORT WRITING...omg...i touch this when i was like taking my o level...and i totally,and i mean TOTALLY forget the whole concept of it...and this assignment was to be handed up on the 4th week...and it cost me 30% of the whole module...alot right...and i went to sch for 2 hrs only...boring right...went home and slack...din really have much to say...haha...haiz....i miss her...but i duno how to approach to tok to her in msn...haha...walk to the bus stop and pass by that place...was thinking that time went i went to find her to study...wahaha...crap right...fancy thinking of something that can't came true...but i really do miss her...haha...awww...crap...

poem of me and j...

2005-10-26T21:10:00.000+08:00

u wander off in this dark room of yours...
so dark that u can't see a thing...
so dark that u can't feel a thing...
soon,lonliess crawl up to u...
and u no longer can't see a thing,
and u no longer can't felt a thing...
cause all u will seeing right now,
was only yourself...
cause all u will feeling right now,
was only yourself...
u can't felt any much presence beside you and yourself...
and there came a crack of light...
an opening to the outer world...
u saw a illusion,
u saw a fantasy,
u saw a fairy tale...
but that is all what u see in your room...
u wanted to go out of this dark room,
and there u begin to crawl out...
desperately...u crawl and crawl...
ur hands are weak...u have no strength to continue,
and u just lay down there motionless...
and inches away from u are the outer world...
your head tilted...
u saw a gal(sm) walk pass...
WONDERFUL! u say...
and u shouted,but no voice came out...
a gal(sm) walk pass u again,but she do nth...
u shouted again,and theres nth but sound of the breeze...
u lie down there for a min...
tears rolling down from your eyes and coursed its way to your cheek...
u desperately need to get out of that room...
and again...u hold yourself up...
u stand still,though your legs are still wobbling...
u hold onto the door knob...u try hard to open it...
but not even the door had moved a single bit...
a passerby(j) walk pass...
she decided to helps u...she pushed...and pushed...
and the door is still left still...
u slough onto the side of the door...
she talks to u...like friends u nv met b4...
she crack jokes with u...like clown u nv met b4...
u were happy when she is around...
but u were left inside the room helplessly when she wasn't around...
you wanted to know where she was and what was she doing right now...
you wanted to know everything about her...
that day...she came by as usual...she talks to u like usual...
but she mention about how bz she was...and now,
she seldom visit u anymore...u try very hard to get to her...
wanted to hear her voice...ensuring that she is alright...
one day...she drop by,she tells u how beautiful a love can be...
she tells u how beautiful outside...
she tells u many things...
and she tells u her past relationship...
she still thinks of her past...and thats was what she was caught up wif...
u seal your mind again...u wanted to tell her..:
"i need u...i want u...i...love u..."
and times after times she tell u how sweet her past is...
and times after times u are jus totally lost of what u are doing...
and again...dilemma was surrounding u...

wad am i??

2005-10-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

i gave up...i totally gave up on sm...i know it because i felt that i no longer longed for u...actually...i been through this dilemma...sm or j...now i know...haha...wad a flirt guy i am...haiz...i always ask this myself...who i really do like...sm or j...guess i do have an ans here...but...i dunno...argh...let me just summarise the whole thing...i met sm during my working period...well...i do have a wonderful time...felt happy and so on...and feeling grew...but...we just maintain as friend...as time goes by...i was uncertain of my feelings to her anymore...not for any other gal,but because of the time taken...guess i was not tat really like sm...and then i met j...ok...she was a sweet gal...but...i swear i nv likes her,nv until i really know her...well u could say i do know abit of her...just abit and its enuff for me to fall for her...i know this because i do long for her...haha...fancy talking abt this when i met her for only a few times? well...at first i thought it was just my crush and so i do concentrate more on sm...but time grew that feeling just stays on...its like a drink being polluted...like plain water added sugar...and i found out tat...plain water plain...because of sugar added inside..and my feeling for sm was no longer there,because j was inside...haha...COMPLICATED isn't it?i like j...i admit that...den wad abt sm u would ask...well...she was nv meant for me...not even a single moment...guess i do really must give up...and get on my life...and waited for the time to give up on j as well...she stills hold on her ex...which is a boundary tat i could not cross,which mean i can't enter into her world...and as i waited...like past few encounters,i am a waiter...again...i waited,for her...i din tell her i like her,like sm...i din tell her anything...juz merely a care and concern from a friend she would sometime receive from me...HAH...i am such a failure...

days i spent after gotten my result

2005-10-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

hmmm...basically,i do passed all my module and i am happy for it...haha...finally my nightmare are gone...duhz...ok...so i will just summarise what i had been doing after gotten my exam result...first,i get sm present...went searching for tat present with jason,had a tough time to search that shop though...den after that i went for my chalet...great chalet i would say...fun!but...i breathe in too much 2nd hand smoke...like at least 4 packet...wasn't feel very good that time...got a sore throat...the bbq was good...the food i mean...it was just great...with cheesy hotdog to bbq marinated wings...juz taste so heavenly,well u could say it was that nice under that circumstance right...din really slp well on that chalet...pillow fight could be seen and heard...LOL...and it was cold...air con was in full blast mode...and i was like shivering through out the night...den it was rach chalet...went there on 18th evening...the bbq food was...erm...so so la...the meat was urgh...tough like rubber band...can u actually trying chewing rubbing band? u will know...had lots of fun with kev and elmo they all...went red house but din stay too long..y u may ask? maybe its the atmosphere...went home after that...chasing the last train and i was like panting like a dog...on the way back...was actually thinking of hq...haha...well...first date was her friend chalet and it was at pasir ris...walk pass the beach and though of her...well...it was in the pass...kinda miss her...but...nah...and the following day was like omg...i was having a stomach ach...just feel so uneasy...issit the food that i ate?? till now my stomach still feel uneasy...don't ask me y cause me myself also cannot give u an ans...went shopping today...whao...i was like spending near a $100...seldom in my life would spend that much at 1 go...well u could say that because i did buy adidas bag...above are the bag i bought...i was hopping i do get 1 for a very long time and finally i get 1...wooo hooo...jason and darren were like spending on clothes...they do get nice clothes...well...i dun haf that much of the cash so i will keep that for the nx shopping session...*grinz*
now here i am talking abt the pass thing i had done...haha...well enjoy reading my friend...=D

SIAN...........

2005-10-12T03:09:00.000+08:00

SIAN AR...........ARGH...........my laptop spoil,and i gonna re tk my f*** basic car theory,and i got chalet to attend and on top of that,i still thinking of the present to buy for sm and hx...i am super f*** up now...everything just came suddenly...i just don't know what should i do...well...i wasn't train to do so....i need to overcome this thing...this mess..omg...i am just so vexed now...can't really focus on something...today gonna go swimming, n wad abt my laptop? made a call yest morning so i will bring the laptop down tmr if possible...den nx i will bring it down this afternoon after my swimming...and the following thing i am gonna worry is the present...zZz...wad a mess...after that it will be the chalet already...after chalet it will be the car theory...SIAN.....

night b4 releasing of my exam result

2005-10-06T03:18:00.000+08:00

hmmm...its was around 3+ in the morning le...and it left less than 6 hrs of the released of my exam result...hah...guess that i am well...wide awake...gonna go for swimming tmr...and my oct was fully packed...2 chalets and few other more outing...and i guess i think i am really looking forward for the outing on this coming friday...with my buddies and few other friends that once work b4...and i guess i am quite happy abt seeing her once again...awww...sound like i am in some fairytales or something...haha...well...wads more to be achieved?? nth...only thing in my mind was not her...neither was it "her"...but was my exam's result...i think i dun do quite well for my exam..LOL...really got out of control abit during my sch time...hmmm...only thing i can do now is wait and go to slp and wait for the time 9am to see my result...i wish i can pass...
another matter seems to bothers me this few weeks....but maybe...after the outing on fri...i will be able to resolve the prob...wasn't that of a serious matter...but i think it some how did get out of hand...prob lies in me...hah...as i say...maybe it will be solved after the outing on fri...maybe not...

boring........long posting

2005-09-28T04:11:00.000+08:00

another boring day had pass...and now its already 4+ in the morning and i am still awake...LOL...was chatting wif my best buddies...hmmm...haha...always doing that...=X...well...guess what xiang say is true la...cannot really force onto something that can't happen...haiz...i can't do much...i can only...wait...its all i was suppose to be doing all along...LOL...i am a "waiter" in my life...u see a gal wait for me like i do...LOL...well if anyone saw that i think there's really a big miracle already...HAH...i am stuck to this so called fate thing and here i am complaining and procrastinating about life and fate...i know how to use beautiful words to console my friend abt love and relationship...but i do not know how to use that same kind of words to console me...haiz...maybe human are like that...maybe they love giving ppl advice when they themself doesn't fit in the things they said...well in that case its so hypocrite...everything we say its just the opposite of what we do...am i a hypocrite too? i tell ppl to get over a lousy relationship or someone that dun love them and here i am yearning for love and care from the 1 i love...i tell ppl that "well let time do the healing...." but here i am still waiting some impossible payback...haiz...i am always sighning...but i am not in real...its 2 different me...i love laughter and fun...but i am a saddist...LOL...quite contradicting isn't it?? well...me myself also do not know...sometime life just need to be this way...maybe its what ppl call "thats life"...lonely guy i am...lonely world i'm in...lonely path should i take?? haiz...

back after MIA...

2005-09-25T18:20:00.000+08:00

hmm...guess i was MIA this few weeks...LOL...had not been posting this few weeks...hmmm...kinda bz over wif my studies and etc etc...haha...guess tat isn't anthing else to write beside my studies le...but...hmmm...maybe i can let out how i am feeling this few weeks...was always wondering y my life are bound wif gals...zZz...got mix up wif them and make my life so messed up...i dunno when these gonna stop...i juz hope it would stop...i juz felt....lonely...LOL...weird seeing this from a guy? well maybe u all can say tat bah...but i juz felt so lonely...haha...even wif my friends...i still felt something amiss..something tat is lacking...like a jigsaw puzzle...a piece was missing...and it dun look like a whole picture without tat piece...haha...stupid remark i had made...hx ask me still waiting for sm...me myeself really dunno...she tells me maybe 1 day she will accept me...haha...well...maybe...but i dun think its possible...and here i am thinking abt "her"...haha...u may guess its sm...well...maybe...LOL...shld i juz gave up on sm...but...i dunno...din really had any time to know "her" though...am i thinking too much...or is it just real tat i...haha...my heart aches abit when i saw that title on her nick...its just so complicated...everything just so complicated...no more as simple as i thought...the 1 i want just can't be with me...i am juz sick and tired of everything...stupid me to haf such feeling over something tat wasn't urs in the first place...i am just finding torture myself...i am juz torturing myself...and i definately love doing that...urgh...it jus sucks man...well...life just go on...

hmmm...

2005-07-25T01:28:00.000+08:00

its 1.29am...a brand new day had arise...well...it was morning now...and i was still wide awake...hmmm...was chatting with my buddies currently on phone...should i say that it was not the first time we chatted...a brand new day in school tmr... i am starting afresh...everything was fine during my test week...everything was fine and i breeze through the test quite easily...except my emotion that is if mentioned..that was 1 tormented feeling...hehe...though it was all along tormented for me...so i am used to everything now...everything is settled...now i just need to get going...hmmm...din really had anything in mind to note down...so well...i will just stop here...

i........

2005-07-18T00:51:00.000+08:00

another day had pass...and so on n so for...its just continues this endless path of mine...n when will it be the last stop for me...i dunno...i jus know what i am gonna do is to carry on walking this endless yet lonely path of mine...i felt so lonely...especially at night...tend to think of the past...the past road i had taken...and feel sad and dissappointed...not just that...haiz...urgh...i just dun like this mix and complicated feeling of mine...all and all its just rubbish...a rubbish that all group under a word SAD...that i would really wish to throw it away...just when i was able to do tat...u came...and yet make that rubbish even more...doubled the size and quantity...its u who i really miss right now...haiz....i am still continue to walk this lonely path of mine...if u were to know this,what were u do?? still smiles and says:"well,u still have a bunch of friends like me right..." and thats the phrase i dun really wish to hear...friends...i can't take it and i can't break through my thoughts that i did not want to be your friend,not even your best friend...but the 1 that stays in your heart...but the fact is I CAN'T! couples??? what the hell is that...whenever i saw couples on the streets,it only remind me of the past...and think of u...can some 1 please save me?? haiz...school had been quite stress lately...well...guess its the fact that we aren't meant for each other...and the fact that i will still continue to walk this lonely and cold path of mine...but with the help of my friends...i think i can do it...and till the girl that really wish to walk the path with me...i shall wait...

argh...

2005-07-17T02:32:00.000+08:00

right now my feeling was like a sun setting down...this wasn't a good feeling...i saw my levis metal 501 tag and i thought of hy...the memories we had together...i always ask so much from her but yet i nv give in enough...she nv once say "i love you" by mouth but yet i can feel it through my heart...and i kept asking her to say that...omg...how was i to be so childish that time...i thought of us celebrating valentines...it was the first time i ever celebrate with my gf...it was so memorable...but...that relationship was never meant to be mine...we were not meant for each other...same goes to sm...she was never meant to be mind 2...my friend ask abt if i still love her...and my heart tells me i really still do...haiz...it took so long to even forget some 1 u love...guess i still need some times for me to forget about the love for her...haiish...

hAiSh...

2005-07-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

seems like a typical night i had...everything seems find to me...my bday and everything was so right...especially my bday...my klass was so sweet...excluding the present of the mirror....but other than that...everything is so nice...went out with my buddies on friday...well...slacked around was wad we do...guess thats what we usually do...n today,went to school to complete my CATS stuff...DAMN my cats teacher...buy a handphone without having it ON...! and how are we suppose to get in touch with her...but luckily we finished the whole stuff...but is around 4+ so i dunnoe if she will still accept it or not...n now...i sit infront of my com recap of the things i had done pass few days...especially the wishes i had made at my bday...i had wish...about her...i din know y i do that...but i just wish her to be happy...well u can't wish much except her to be happy...n now i am sad...well u can said that i am sad...din feel right now...had a sudden mood swing...well...i do haf mood swing sometimes...

my wish for my bday: i wish i can had u forever,i wish i can hold u forever and i wish everything would be fine for us...n i wish that u will be happy forever,even without the presence of me,maybe without me u will be happy...lastly i really wished 1 thing....i wish that i really can tell u...i really do love u alot...

B.O.R.I.N.G...

2005-07-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

its another typical boring day...had been slacking all day,except sch days,the time spending on my nap n my com almost filled my day...except i had done some reading on mech engineering stuff...finally get through that topic...always though it was difficult...sch life was ok...nothing much to talk about...relationship stuff...well...i am still single though...family stuff...still managable...friends...hmmm...been well wif my buddies and all...n erm...get along juz fine wif sch friends...everything was ok...except wif my sch work...gonna start my term test n i did not even prepared something...my laziness took over me...got to do something about this...any suggestion from any 1...lOl...hmm..had made new friends n all this in my poly...hmmm...everything was fine actually...but i am still bothered by something...urgh...dun wanna say it...well its time for me to off the light and went to bed so...well...will stop here...

lonely night...

2005-06-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

its a typical lonely night...i am totally numb about this matter...went kimage to cut my hair today...finally i can get my THICK hair cuted...my image is totally ruined today at poly...wore a thick geled hair,some no brand long sleeves tee n a stupid glasses...i look so dump walking around in the poly...feel like killing myself during that moment...but luckily went for a hair cut after school...and i think i did well for my mech engineering...everything was quite fine...jie ying come n look for me n we did had a nice chat...though i am having my hair cut but its nice anyway...its been a long time since i had a chat wif her...but there's something i feel sad...evon decided to quit already...guess next month i don't think i will visit kimage already...well...guess everything was alright at this moment...

finally understand....

2005-06-19T22:10:00.000+08:00

went throught serious thinking ever since i reach home yesterday night...had been thinking of the thing i wrote...it was my rage and anger that had casue me to lose my mind...and it had cause me to write some stupid things in my blog...i'm sorry...i wrote all this in a fit of anger...really don't mean it that way...i'm really sorry if i had insulted u in anyway...haiz...dun think u won't visit my blog anyway...had been thinking of what hx had told me yest...guess i was right...i was right all along...she was nv meant for me...i never should had nv made that move...i should never had fall for her in the first place...it was me to blame me n not any 1 else...guess the most is closed friend for me n her...i give up...i shld haf do it long time ago...sorry...is the word i can only say right now to u...sorry...again is the word i really wanted to say that i had misunderstood u...sometimes its better to to be late rather than be late...but my happiness seems no where to be found...did it arrive late? or does it dun wanna come to me...seeing many couples along the streets had made me even lost...yes...i am lost...i seriously need something to guild me...even its a glimpse of light...

hmmm...

2005-06-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

urgh...din have any nice relax time in poly...been trying to catch up with what the lecturers trying to teach...n been trying to stress myself on the thing i am gonna do...poly life is no longer like sec sch...no more kids stuff and playing...its all on yourself...i seem so lost...but...i believe in myself...i will do it and i can do it..hehe...will stop here...

sTrEsSfUlL dAy

2005-06-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

hmmm...it was quite some times that i even step into this corner of mine...quite some times that i really need to get over her...hehe...but i think i am doing some progress...well at least for now...i don't feel much hurt whenever i thought of her...life had been so stress ever since i am in poly...nothing like before...no more spoon feed info,no more caring teachers,well only 1...n surely no more playing...people describe poly as a play day..but i describe it as a training area...to train your self-discipline...guess it really needs some discipline for me to settle down to do my homework n projects...this was not like before...nothing was like before...i really miss the old days when i was in my sec sch...n i really miss mrs ng and mdm oh...how are they doing...?had a sudden urge to go to my sec sch just to see them...n times really pass...3 weeks in poly already...stressful stuffs and etc...really had been trying to get her out of my mind...slowly n bit by bit i am trying...will stop here...hope everything will be alright for me...

happy/sad day??

2005-06-04T02:16:00.000+08:00

went out wif a bunch of buddies,celebrating birthday of jh...we had been posted to different sch but yet the bond are still there...i am glad that this is it so...or else i really will be a lonely guy...well guess u really need buddies to survive...friends are ppl hu accompany through life,best friends are ppl hu u can share secrets to n haf fun together but buddies is ppl hu went tru thick n thin wif u...n i shall comment tat my 2 buddies really done tat...was really happy not to lose bond wif them...at this pt of time i dun think i can tolerate any depression...till i really get over her...its late in the night n i guess i shall end it here...well...happy birthday jh...wish ur future will be blessed wif angels path.....

poem of my feeling...

2005-06-02T18:12:00.001+08:00

Love was designed in a simple way
With a simple meaning
And in a happy ray
But somehow it got tainted in some way
With different definitions
And in a different clay

I choose to believe in wad love was meant to be
Always hoping u would do the same as me
But life juz can't make it seems like u please
And this would be how reality is
For as u had shown me how corrupted a love can be
With the help of u n me

Caring,understanding and compromising
Are the meaning tat love used to had
But looks,money and lies soon had its meaning getting replaced
I'm not sure if this is true
Or at least
u had make me think its possible

Though i had this all plan along
But i nv had planned ur idea of love into it
So much so tat this could really cause me heartach
Tat i wish tat this is the phrases n memories i dun wanna rake

I would not interfere on how u think
I would not change the way u think
But if tats the way u really thinks abt love
Den i could say i din really know u tat well as it seems...

Maybe i am the 1 hu got all these misunderstood
Of the ideas u haf
Maybe i am the 1 hu got all these messed up
Of thinking tat u will be with me
Maybe i am the 1 hu got too thick skin
Of knowing u will love me like i love u

Maybe,juz maybe the phrase tat u tells me tat time isn't wad it seem to mean
And maybe,juz maybe i would once again believe in pure love again
To believe tat after all,we aren't really meant for each other

Done by:
\\...>-aLlAn-<...//

late night...

2005-06-01T01:10:00.000+08:00

its ard 1+ in the morning...still can't get to slp...went tru many of my frens's friendster...saw quite a few of them...been quite jealous abt it...not tat they are rich or popular...its the status they currently are in...:"in a relationship..."haish...been feeling moody from juz now...been thinking of something...in fact alot of things...v frustrating...everything juz seems to cramp inside my head...i need to get them out...sad enuff i can't do tat...been trying to act cool n act as if nth had happen...but i am wrong...i am indeed not feeling good ...not mentally tat is...y are they the lucky 1 n i am the unlucky 1...when will i really meet the 1 i really luv n the 1 hu really luves me...DOES LOOKS REALLY MATTERS!!!!???HEH...."LOOKS ARE IMPT BECAUSE U NEED TO LOOK AT THEM ALL THE TIMES..."CAN'T A HEART,A SINCERE HEART MORE IMPORTANT THAN LOOKS...?IF ONE HU CARES ABT LOOK,DO WE STILL COUNTED AS LOVE???!!!i wanted to know this...LOOKS LOOKS LOOKS...a tainted word for love...!!!been thinking of another phrase by some 1 i used to luv deeply..."I AM POOR TATS Y I BECOME MATERIALISTIC...AND TATS Y I NEED A BF TAT IS RICH..."another says:"I REALLY LUV U B4...(but she chose other guy over me)"i really dun understand this... been thinking these 3 things in my head...been wondering y ppl are like tat...my heart felt heavy...all of a sudden...how do u all define L.O.V.E??? by looks? by money? by cheating on some 1 hu luves u deeply? its all crap...HEH...my life totally sux...somehow i juz can't make it better...sometimes i juz had to believe in fate...sometimes i need to do tat to make me feel better...SHIT HELL!!!!its totally torturing...feel like screaming...shouting...
i will get these through...i will...I WILL!!!!!!!!!
will i???

sadening day...

2005-05-31T22:30:00.000+08:00

times n times i try to revitalize my dream,times n times i try to revive my hope n wish...but each time i try to do tat,theres always something tat crush the whole thing tat u are wishing n hoping it to happen...n my wish had been crushed...torned apart n smashed like a wipped potato...though it was is a mannered way...but i am crippled...through the conversation,through wad we are talking n through the way she tells me...though wad u see is something tat are not similar to the ans...but wad she spokes is the way she expressing herself...this is not the first time...i seems to be familiar with the feelings n the depression...it seems to be like an old friends of mine...i guess i really need to be cooled down a little...trying to understand the situation,i analyze it...finding fault in any characters of her...but...there's seems to be flawles,nth could be found...i can't help asking y...but each time the same old qn had been ask,each time i am been reflected how stupid am i...i guess nth could had been done...to change the fact tat me n her could nv had a future together...i shld had know this...i shld had...

nights after nights i once set my mind thinking abt it,
thinking of wad shld i do,
of wad must i do,
of wad will i do,
poundering on wad will be the result,
or rather the ans...
i sealed myself in wadever action i gonna do...
endless day n night i had been thinking...
i thinks alot...
i really do...
finally...
i set myself going...
once again...
but...
wad i get in return...
is the same old feelings i got before...
the same old depression n the same old anger...
nth could be so familiar than these feelings...
nth could be so...
so...
hurtful than those words...
though in a mannered way...
but the meaning in a hidden drain...
i shld haf listen to my mind...
I SHLD HAD JUZ GIB UP...
this hr,
this min n this sec...
wad i do was...
nth...
but thinking...
poundering...
sitting infront of my com...
i recite the whole situation again n again...
but this time...
not verbally...
but in a form of...
words n letters...
as these are the form of communication i had done juz now...
n these poem,or rather phrases,
did not meant anyway it could be...
but it rather remind me tat...
i will not fall in love easily...
ever again...
we may still be frens...
so much so tat i really wanted to be in the first place...
so much so tat i really hope my heart does not beat tat fast when i see u,
so much so my eyes does not sets on u everytime we met...
so much so my heart does not...
had u anymore...
can i do it...???
i dunno...
sry...if these words n sentence had hurt u...
sry...because this is the only way i could express myself...
n sry...is the word tat i wouldn't wan to hear it from u...

memorable day...

2005-05-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

had been quite some time ever since i last blogged...hasn't been doing anything lately except sch life and etc...so i will juz summarise wad i had done over the past few day...frankly speaking...poly life is not as fun as what i am thinking...as least tat was wad i had been thinking over the past few years...been going for tutorials,lectures and practical...its was totall not fun at all...i mean is like u need to exercise yourself just to get yourself in class...what the HELL!!!but luckily,i do had a bunch of crazy fren...well...tats where frens came in...u need to move on with life though...u need to survive yourself in poly for 3 yrs n u need friends to do that...but not to forget my best buddy...had gone through thick n thin with them so no matter where they are,they still the 1 i will classified as best buddy...poly life is so stress up,everything u need to learn it again...especially math...i had 1 of a HELL time with maths...got a lousy teacher with only good at sulking his face,but on the other hand,got a caring teacher who likes to talks with a big smile on her face...well...wad i can say...u do haf good things and bad things in life,surely there are in poly as well...hmmm...went out wif xian,min n jason today after sch...done nth except slacking...walk ard...really tired me down...went to watch madagascar...was a nice n funny show...worth watching...shld i comment today as a tired day or a happy day...i found myself falling deep...no more confusing me...no more having troubles to find my true identity...n lastly no more denial for me...was it good or bad...i found out something today...i once like her alot alot...but tats oni like...n liking someone makes u feel confused...makes u feel bothered n 100% makes lose yourself...u can't wait to see her everyday when u liked her,u can't wait to listen to her voice when u liked her,u can't speak like u always do when u are infront of her,u can't wait to let her to see the best way u look so that she will keep on noticing u...but this is only liked...i found out tat i no longer had this feeling for her...instead...a new feeling n derived...n its love...i love her...n i know i do...u dun need to see the 1 u luv everyday,but u made sure she is safe n sound,u dun need to hear her voice every now n then,but u made sure she isn't sick,u need not startled n get nervous when u see her but u made sure tat everything u do is for her own good n u need on put on a make up when u meet her cuz wad u really wan her to understand is your heart...wad i can really do is try my best n it all depends on fate...

feeling's unlimited...

2005-05-21T02:41:00.000+08:00

if i were to describe u,i can't find any words to say abt u,if there's a thing u would become,i can't find any object tat would be u,cuz u are some 1 i luv so much even words can't use to put into sentence,cuz u are some 1 i wanted to hold so much not even things i would like to touch...wishes are meant for those ppl hu can't get to their goal,hope are meant for ppl hu does not tk any responsiblity in their action,maybe is a word u use to run away from reality...but y are all of the phrases n words mention above are becoming part of my life...things aren't like before...no more child's games,no more fancy bed time stories...wad we faced is greater challenge,as 1 says:"the older we get,the wiser we get"...i seriously disagree in this saying...reason is as u grow old stress came up,one of it is love...when 1 is deeply fall in love,even a 3 yr old kid is smarter den u...n now i am facing this...u know how i feel towards u,but i dun...i really dun...maybe i am juz a fren to u,maybe i am juz some 1 tat pass through ur life...n there i goes...maybe,maybe n even more maybe...fren told me not to gib up,my mind told me its tired,my heart told me i still love her...wad to do...another cross road in my life...many things happen but i told myself to carry on...like i always did...i will wait...i will try my best...n this is my principle...

sucky day in np orientation...

2005-05-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

if any u were to ask me how is the orientation of np...u had a high chance of being nagged by me...basically wad we do at the orientation today is...nth but lame games and some stupid boring self intro thing...went to lecture hall n had a nice slp over there...cosy corner wif air con...the feeling was like heaven...u mean to think i am crazy,but...think back,i slep at 4+am yest night n i wake up at 7am this morning...i had almost 0% vision towards the surrounding...everything seem unclear to me...went eating at canteen 2 wif li yi and nicolose(new fren made from orientation)...guess they were the 1 toking to me throughout the whole thing,n not to mention chen loon was there oso...n tmr we had the same thing all over again...urgh...feel so sicked to tat orientation...wonder wad crazy idea would all the grp leader be thinking tmr...i'm getting sick of this man...this is total madness...went there juz to listen craps...oh well guess tats part of poly life i think...crap was include inside this package as well...was missing her through out the whole orientation...went home do some wash up and off i go to meet my buddies...went bugis to haunt for bags n clothes for our poly life...well i did bought 1 bag...nice bag i think...overally comment abt today...its sux at first n fun at the end...guess its part of life anyway...u need to suffer at the first in order to enjoy at the last...

movie trail...

2005-05-17T00:06:00.000+08:00

as usual...went out with the same old fren of mine...went to town to get some stuff for our poly...unfortunately,i din get any of the item...basically din saw anything that i wanted to buy except the bag...sweater maybe i will get 1 from the 77th street...urgh...think today was juz some kind of a walking marathon or wad...guess thats wad we call shopping...u need to walk a mile to get wad u wan huh...went for a movie ltr on in the evening...watched a fantastic show...coach carter...well to some ppl it may be a boring show...but to me its like ermm...u are watching ur fav sports show??so the feeling will naturally be different...this show got its attraction though...i gib a 8/10 grading to this show...got the jokes,action,story etc...it wasn't a lousy show anyway...after all u spend like 6.50 bucks to watch a 2 1/2 hr show...man its worth it...went home after the movie...saw madeline and had been cracking loads of jokes in the train...glued myself infront of the com chatting with her...thats when my thinking came in...

lately had been thinking alot...thinking abt wad to do n this n that...guess i will make a decision today,right now...i will make a ending...i will follow my heart n not my mind...my heart tells me i really likes her...guess its a struggling for me to make a decision when i am under such circumstances...if u all ask me y i had made such decision...i will tell u all i dunnoe...but 1 thing is for sure...i dun wan to feel regretted
...i surely dun wan it...the feeling isn't good to be feeled regreted...i know it...i juz know it...wadever the outcome will be...i dunnoe...but this time i got to trust my heart...for the 1 last time...i got to...i had put all my stakes for this bet...

boring sunday...

2005-05-16T01:39:00.000+08:00

well everything we do had a begining and ending...like when u slp u need to wake up...when u tired u will slp again n so on it continues...whatever we do something,its either u get it done or otherwise...but either its done or not,its an ending n a new begining arise...but for me n u,we had a begining,but we did not had a ending...i did not end it...i dunnoe how to end it...can i end it the best way??i dunnoe...shld i end it wif juz being a fren n juz continue from there,or shld i juz end it telling u tat i like u alot...i can't decide any 1 of them...tats y i say we do not had a ending...how i wish my heart is clear abt wad i shld do...i had been dragging this for a long time...things stuffed inside my heart not knowing how to let it go...is this fate?? is this wad we call fate?? if it is i rather we didn't met b4...argh...i am so confused!!!!i am in such dilemma right now...

boring day....

2005-05-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

shit day i would say...totally shit! went all the way to np for nothing...tot theres some cca fair...but wad we get is juz some lousy performances...i am bored to death when i am sitting in that auditorium...the programme is for KIDS...well maybe some of it is for kids...basically its a shitty day...went there for nth...went bak home straight after the whole thing...well i had nth to comment abt today...basically it all went to to 1 word "SHIT"...everything was in a shit mess...my mind,my room,my feeling...everything...!reached home n glued myself infront of the computer...
urgh...i juz feel so sick n tired of slacking...wanted to find a job...wanted to live happily like last time...wif no worries,(except of the exam and stuffs)...but can i....every night been thinking abt the whole situation...trying v hard to make a decision out of it...but i can't...i juz can't damn it!!to think i am a guy...been thinking of the past relationships...trying v hard to forget wad had happen but all to no avail...many harmful phrase kept reciting in my mind and it proves to had some effect on me now...wad should i do...i really dunnoe...i am in a dilemma...

first night...

2005-05-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

tonight is a windy night...or shld i say humid...the feeling was so contradicting...i din know what to do...i still believe in hope...but my mind kept telling me its impossible...wad shld i do...i really can't make any decision under this circumstances...the 1 thing tat hold me back is not her reply,but it was rather me n my promise...i am scared i can't gib her 100% luv forever,n i scare i can't promise to give her happiness...for as the past few relationship had teache me lessons...i like her n i really do...but will this makes me love her forever...i dunnoe...perhaps its all my wishful thinking of she accepting me...perhaps she dun even fancy me...perhaps she doesn't even like me at all...if this is it so,y shld i think abt weather to give it a try or not...i might as well juz give up...i am so confused...i dunnoe wad to do...can any 1 tell me....urgh...life juz so suck up wif these things...maybe i shld off my light n went to bed...maybe i shld had done tat long time ago....

nEw bLoG wItH sAmE oLd lAyOuT...

2005-05-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

been using this layout ever since my last blog...find it quite nice so i decided to use it for my new blog 2...din really change the things inside...edit pic,put in some new effect...nothing much to this new blog though...sry pals for the previous blog i am using...din use already...every info will be transfering to this blog...

first thing first...i was being criticise by some fags after the layout had been realese...wtf is that guy trying to do...if he is not happy wif my layout he can jolly well point the cursor to the upper right hand cross n press it...no harm in doing that action...argh...been feeling confused n sad this few days...had been slacking too much during this holiday...will be updating more info in the night....

**\\..mEmOrIeS' pLaYgRoUnD..//**

Boring...

So Many things Happened....

after so long...

Rejection....

i gave up...

Chalet night...

moody clubbing night at phuture...

a million air first love

happy happy happy

sudden happiness...

my bday...

Omen night....

her birthday eve night...

RIP Mr Wong...

amendment of post...

night chatting with u~~

tiring day...

Poseidon night...

hectic life...

nth much...

waiting...~~

after chalet...

forced to blog~~~

days i spend after visiting chalet

hmmm...she's falling sick...

HOLIDAY~~

HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ...V DAY EVE...

Haiz...

valentine's day coming...

a new year,but a bad star...

she's not in sg...

haiz...she went to taiwan,i stay in sg

sianz........

hmmm...j sick le...

hmmm...words to abigale

haiz....i really miss j when i am talking to her in msn

o.O...wooo project finish

jap letters to j

stomach hurts...

things link to j

haiz...i gave up...

wad a day after my eng o lv....

y heaven so unfair..........

first day in sch...

poem of me and j...

wad am i??

days i spent after gotten my result

SIAN...........

night b4 releasing of my exam result

boring........long posting

back after MIA...

hmmm...

i........

argh...

hAiSh...

B.O.R.I.N.G...

lonely night...

finally understand....

hmmm...

sTrEsSfUlL dAy

happy/sad day??

poem of my feeling...

late night...

sadening day...

memorable day...

feeling's unlimited...

sucky day in np orientation...

movie trail...

boring sunday...

boring day....

first night...

nEw bLoG wItH sAmE oLd lAyOuT...

\\..mEmOrIeS' pLaYgRoUnD..//